Here I am , back from Malacca .

I dont wanna post anything about the trip at all .
I guess only Qianyun , Rachael and Henian should know the reason .
I dont have the mood to do so also .

In fact , not to dampened the others mood .
I managed to see some of my friends true colours .
I mean 'some' , not exactly 'all' .
I am really disappointed though .
&i think QianYun feel the same way too .

If i am given the choice again .
I will NOT want to go Malacca .
To have my trust fallen apart in some of my 'friends' .
Thats what makes my mood down the whole time about this trip .
&another 2 reasons dampen my mood too .

Oh yeah , did i mention that i cried cause of these 3 reasons .
Which hurt me so hard that i almost feel like dying .
That feeling aches as how my blood bleed .
Nothing can describe that .

As dumb as i am .
No one can understand this .
Even I cannot do so too .
Everyone's so happy about the trip .
I just cant tell them the real truth face to face on how i feel on about it .

If i dont write it down .
If i dont express it out .
I might suffer from depression .
Just like the way i did so too in the past .

&yes , my heart's officially dead .